RADAR
Revision focuses on effectiveness; editing focuses on correctness.
Use your RADAR chart to revise your essay for effectiveness.

Replace:

You can strengthen a text by replacing words that are not specific, words that are overused and sentences that are unclear.

As I ran to the finish line, my heart was beating.

As I sprinted to the finish line, my heart pounded in my chest.

Add:

You can add new information, descriptive adjectives and adverbs and rhetorical or literary devices to make your piece more powerful.

Shadows made the night seem scary.

Ominous shadows made the dark night seem even more sinister.

Delete:

Sometimes taking words out of a text can improve clarity.

The candidates talked about the issues, and many of the issues were issues that had been on voters' minds.

The candidates talked about the issues, many of which had been on the voters' minds.

Reorder:

When you reorder, you can make sentences flow more logically.

Put the sunflower seeds over the strawberries, which are on top of the pineapple in a bowl. You'll have a delicious fruit salad.

To make a delicious fruit salad, cut pineapple into a bowl. Add strawberries and then sprinkle a few sunflower seeds over the top.